Webster's Dictionary (okay, fine, Google) defines Spring as:
(noun) a resilient device, typically a helical metal coil, that can be pressed or pulled but returns to its former shape when released, used chiefly to exert constant tension or absorb movement
In the for-whatever-it's-worth department, Spring is also defined as:
the season after winter and before summer, in which vegetation begins to appear
It is our professional opinion that, yes, these definitions are true and accurate.
We ask that you take a moment to consider the gravity of what we've just shared. Consider, if you will, the power of the spring. It is, in a word, unbridled. And with the Spring Button Pant Extender at your waist, this boundless power will, finally, be yours.
No more struggling to fit into your favorite pair of jeans. No more leaving your pants out of the dryer for fear of the worst: shrinkage.
Only happy times will now you know (disclaimer: explicitly in relation to the extent that you extend your pants' waistline). If you're familiar with the phrase, "where the rubber meets the road," then you'll know that it doesn't apply here entirely. But it could, in a different context.
Let's not reflect, though, on what could have been or what there still is to be. Let us only say, "The solution! I have found it! And I shall call it Spring Button Pant Extender. And it shall be mine."